


and i can't find the words to make it sound unique

by flashtonlashton



Series: 30 Day OTP Challenge [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Anxiety, M/M, i am very scared and cannot write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 04:21:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2568050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashtonlashton/pseuds/flashtonlashton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>day 1 is holding hands</p>
            </blockquote>





	and i can't find the words to make it sound unique

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first post and the title (from kate nash's i hate seagulls) has no connection to the story
> 
> also this might not be updated daily as i am a young, busy munckin.

luke was used to the bubbling of fear in his body.

 

his anxiety came in waves. he’d manage a good month of steady breathing and merry smiles until it would all collapse, his control ripped away. the dark thoughts, the gasps of air, the pure hatred would surround him.

 

but luke was so, so lucky. he had ashton. bright, happy ashton who knew how to make it all fade away. ashton who would wrap his arms around luke’s shaking body, hold onto him too tightly so that he could feel something, kiss the tears off his cheeks. ashton who would lay him down slowly, make sure luke could feel his beating pulse, sing slow songs that luke could never quite hear the words to. ashton who would make him warm tea, put on his favorite movie, make sure that a soft blanket enclosed them into their own world.

 

ashton who currently wasn’t there.

 

luke had seen the note this morning, stuck to the fridge with little hearts and smiles. knew all he had to do was call and say the words. knew ashton could convince his boss to let him hurry home. had seen it a millions times.

 

luke also knew that ashton had missed a lot of work just because luke couldn’t get his shit together. he didn’t want ashton to have to run home from work for this every few days. he knew that he would only get worse without ashton there. he also knew that ashton had to be at work to earn the paycheck they so desperately needed. 

 

luke could feel the tingling starting in his toes and fingertips. knew it would start in the tip of his nose soon. all he needed to do was breathe but the oxygen just wouldn’t stay. every breath he managed to suck in, was gone quicker than the last.

 

his head tilted back against the wall harshly and he felt his body begin to shake harder. the words began to flow out his mouth with no end, a quiet, subconscious murmur. the hate filled phrases swirled through his head too quickly to understand.

 

it was beginning to get harder to see the room around him, dots blurring his vision. he began to cough and splutter in attempt to fill his lungs.

 

luke just barely heard the distant sound of his phone ringing. he used all his energy to answer the call and hold it up to his ear.

 

“ashton.”

 

he could hear the words being shouted to him but none of them made any sense to him. slowly the words got quieter and more controlled. luke clung to the phone and tried to focus on the fragments of sentences being said to him to no avail.

 

he didn’t manage to hear the door open and ashton calling his name over the blood pumping in his ears. luke could feel himself begin to relax as soon as the body crouched down in front of him. ashton pulled him into his chest and searched for his hands. he continued to talk but luke didn't even try to hear him. luke's eyes were focused down on their fingers. ashton's tan fingers rubbing over his thin, pale hands. his breathing began to slow and luke squeezed on tight to the warmth of skin in his palms.

luke could say a lot of things about ashton calmed the panic in him. his smile, his voice, his presence. but truly, it was the heat blazing through the callused skin into his own. the hand in his.


End file.
